Beverly Albrecht
Mohawk Institute
THE INTERVIEWER: We want to offer you tobacco and thank you very much for coming. I’ll give it to you afterwards, because people handle it and that’s all we hear.
But for the interview we have also brought rocks which have been blessed by our spiritual people in Winnipeg, so you can hold onto tht through the interview. Pick a rock, there.
I take a few little notes here, just so you know, as we go along.
Can you tell us your name, please and spell it for us.
BEVERLY ALBRECHT: Okay. Beverly Albrecht; B-e-v-e-r-l-y
A-l-b-r-e-c-h-t.
Q. Where are you from?
A. I’m from Six Nations, but I live in Brantford, so I’m Status, Quega (ph.) Turtle Clan.
Q. What Residential School did you go to?
A. Mohawk Institute in Brantford. I went from 1966 to 1970, and that’s when they closed it.
Q. Wow. Were you there when they closed it?
A. Um-hmm.
Q. Oh. You’ll have to tell us about how that felt.
Do you remember your first day at the school?
A. Yes. There were 3 sisters who went, including myself, and 2 brothers. But the boys were separated from the girls. They had their own Dorm.
My family went before me because I was in the hospital. I had to have open heart surgery in Toronto, because I was born with a heart murmur. When I was 7 I had to have open heart surgery as soon as I went to the hospital in Toronto. When I left the hospital I had to go to Residential School.
I didn’t find out until later on in life that we were under Childrens’ Aid and my mom was a single parent because my dad died and she couldn’t take care of all of us. So we got sent as a family. I found out later that my mom was in Residential School, the same one, but I don’t know how long she stayed, because her mom died young so her grandmother raised her for a little while. And her dad couldn’t raise her, so she was sent to Residential School. So my mother went, and myself, and I’m glad it closed.
Q. Did your mom ever talk about how she felt having to send you there?
A. She thought it was best for us because she couldn’t take care of us and she didn’t have very much support, like emotional support. I was 7. I was the oldest. My brother was 6. My other sister was 5. The other brother was 4, and my younger sister was 3.
Q. Three when she went to Residential School?
A. Yeah. She just said that was the best for us. So I just accepted it.
Q. Did you go straight from the hospital after your surgery to the school?
A. Yes. I remember the first day I went there were steps that you go up into the Institute. I remember there was a little boy sitting on the steps and I was waiting for someone to come and get me to tell me where I had to go. He gave me a hug and gave me a kiss on the cheek, and he goes, “You’re going to be all right.” I didn’t even know this boy. I found out later who he was. But I thought that was different. This is an experience that has stayed with me. That was my first day.
I could see my brothers at supper time, when we had meals, because we came in in different lines. And then we got to see them.
Q. Do you remember anything else about your first day?
A. Just that we had to all dress up. We had to wear a uniform. Everybody dressed the same. We had to get our hair cut. And being scared. I didn’t know what was required, and that was part of the requirement that everybody looks the same. They have short hair. And boys and girls met at mealtimes.
Q. Were you allowed to talk to them at mealtimes?
A. The only time I remember talking to my brothers is Sunday. We have a Sunday dinner. That’s the only time I remember talking to them. The boys sat on one side and the girls on the other.
Q. You had just had surgery. Did you have any after surgery care when you went to the school? Was there anyone coming to check on how your heart was, and stuff after that?
A. Not that I remember. The only time I remember being sick was having mumps. I remember I was in class and they had a piano teacher. I was going to learn piano lessons, but I couldn’t take it because I had mumps. That’s the only other time I remember anybody taking care of you. They were separate from the Dorms. They had a Sick Room, they called it.
Q. Can you tell us about a typical day? What time did you wake up? Did you have chores to do? What meals did you eat? What about the education, and that sort of thing. Just take us through a typical day.
A. Okay. I think we woke up about 7, but I’m not sure. It was early because we had to do chores before we went to eat. We all had to get dressed, make our bed and line up.
We had to make our beds like the military, really tight, so a quarter would jump. That’s how we were taught to make our beds, because we had bunk beds.
One of my chores I remember was doing the stairs. I had to clean them with a toothbrush, that’s how clean they were supposed to be. I remember using bleach. I still use bleach, not as much as I used to because I have a daughter and 3 sons and they say I use too much bleach.
Also, in my profession, I’m a Personal Support Worker, I think that’s why I got into that kind of environment, because that’s all I was used to is cleaning.
After we did that we had to get in line, go out and have our breakfast. It reminded me of the Army because everybody is lined up. We had 3 different levels. There was Junior, Intermediate and Senior. It was by your age group. You had different privileges for whichever group you were in, plus what time you had to go to bed.
After breakfast we would go to school. We used to have to walk there, go to our class and learn.
I thought the education was all right. But if you were bad, or if anybody was bad, we had to squat. That was our punishment, to go down the hall. And also you had to stand, pretend you have a book on your head, and make your back straight because that’s part of discipline they said, and also to have good posture. I remember that.
I remember one trip when I was a little bit older. We went to the Royal Winter Fair. I didn’t know what it was. I just remember it was all decorated and it was nice. I remember going. But now that I see commercials, now I know it’s called the Royal Winter Fair. At that time I didn’t know what it was. I thought it was just some kind of fairy land, or something, because everything was decorated. I enjoyed that.
For May 24th we would go to the Reserve for bread and cheese, but we would take the bus and go for the day. But we were all dressed the same and everybody still had short hair.
I remember the first day before I went to bed, we had to do a hair check to see if we had lice. They used very strong chemicals in our hair but I didn’t know what it was.
Q. Even if you didn’t have lice?
A. Yes. Everybody did it. They had to have it.
For breakfast we usually had porridge. They called it the “Mush Hole” because that’s what we had was mush.
If you talk to Residential School survivors some still like mush and others don’t. I still like it, but some people won’t have anything to do with it because if you have it every day, it’s something that you don’t forget. I won’t forget it anyways.
We would have play time. The girls would usually play together.
There were a lot of different Cree people from different Reserves, and if they were caught speaking their language they were strapped for it.
Q. Could you speak your language when you went to Residential School?
A. No. I didn’t know my language. My mom knew hers, but she was so afraid to speak it with us because she went to Residential School and they were taught the same way: you don’t speak it or you get heck. It’s like they said it was wrong. So she never taught us. But I knew that she knew how to speak, or listen, even to communicate with the older people. But I don’t know my language.
Q. Before you went to school did you practice any traditions at home?
A. We didn’t really have a tradition. The only thing I think of being close is doing things together. Before I went into Residential School my mom used to take us to visit relatives. She was like a mother duck and we were behind her.
I always think family is important so I always keep in touch with my family. I tell them, like my daughter, even though she’s older now, she’s got her own family, she says, “I didn’t used to like it when you used to take us visiting because to me it was like a long day.” I said, “That’s what I learned from my mom.” Even though I was young, it is something that stayed with me. And even to this day I still feel that visiting people, even elderly people, even if you don’t talk to them, just listen, you learn a lot. So it’s something that I pass onto my children.
My boys are very social. They like to visit people.
Q. What other experiences are you able to talk about that happened at Residential School?
A. Okay. One of the things that happened to me was me and my friend were running around the Dorm. We were going in between the bunk beds. We called them House Mothers. They were people who took care of us. They are Non-Native. This one lady was over weight so she couldn’t fit between the bars, so we would go through there. And we got caught running around.
So we got sent downstairs and they had an office. In the office were some lockers. We were both put in there and they closed the doors on us. I think I only stayed there ten minutes. She stayed longer. I don’t know when she came back up. So even to this day, when I’m in a room I have to keep the closet doors closed. I think that affects me. I know where it came from. I’ve had counselling and I know that because I was so young it stays with me. That was one of the things that happened to me there.
Another one was on Sundays —
Because they didn’t want us to get along with the other girls, they would have boxing matches to make us fight just so that we wouldn’t like the other girls, and also, too, because they thought they had so many rules, they thought if we fight with each other we’ll end up taking our anger, or whatever we have, out on the other girls.
I remember fighting with my sister. She’s 2 years younger than me, but we never beat each other. We just did it. We were just talking about it last week that we were taught to defend ourselves. But that’s not very loving and it’s not very physical. You don’t do it just because you want to. They did it because they wanted us to be angry and to beat up on somebody younger.
Q. Really? Who would arrange these fights?
A. The House Mothers. They are the ones who took care of us. But every day we would have a different one and they would have different shifts. So we would have one who would wake us up every day. Another one would go to meals with us. Another one would make sure that we had our bath or our shower.
The Shower Room was —
Like say it was Juniors. All the girls would go together, and then the Intermediates another time, and Seniors at another time.
In our cloakroom we had one locker. We had one set of clothes for play/school and another one for going to the Mohawk Chapel. We went every Sunday. That’s where we would walk. That was our worship. They didn’t want us to do smudging or anything. My mom didn’t do smudging because I guess she didn’t really know that much. I didn’t find out about smudging until later on, when you were asking if there was anything different.
Q. Just back to the boxing for a minute. Would they have other girls watch that as well?
A. Um-hmm. Yeah, it was like a spectator thing. They would all cheer, and whatever.
Q. Wow. How did the girls feel about that?
A. Well, a lot of them just did it because they had to. I don’t think they wanted to, but it was because it was required, they just did it.
Q. Do you remember anyone being hurt?
A. Not really bad, I don’t think. They would stop it before someone got really hurt. I think it was more just so we couldn’t get along.
Q. Would that kind of fighting continue with the girls after, like in the Dorm?
A. No, no. They would just say it was at certain times. If you had a problem with somebody they would say if you want to fight that one, you can.
Q. Like if someone was —
A. Like the next week.
Q. Wow.
A. But I don’t remember anybody getting seriously hurt. But just thinking about it, it would stay with you.
Q. Are there any other experiences that you want to share with us?
A. I had cousins, other relatives that I knew that went as families, too. I have a niece who is older than me. We’re still real close. We’re both on our healing journey. I was mostly at her mom’s. That’s my sister, my older sister. I was at their house a lot, even before I went into the school. My niece and I, we’re still close.
Q. What about the education? What grade did you end up with when you left there?
A. Probably Grade 4 or Grade 5.
Q. Because it closed down?
A. Yes.
Q. Can you talk a little bit about what happened when it closed down? You were there when that happened?
A. All we knew was that it was closing down. They never really told us why. It was just that we knew we couldn’t go back. Only once we went home in the summer, because you could go home for the summer, and my mom used to come and visit us once a month. She would take us out to the show in Brantford. I liked that.
But with closing down, I didn’t really understand why it closed down.
Q. How old were you when it closed down?
A. About ten.
Q. So after it closed down, did you go to regular day school then?
A. Because I was under Childrens’ Aid I went into a foster home. Because there were 5 of us in the family, the boys were with a lady and we were with her sister, us 3 girls. So we didn’t even get to go home. We went to foster care, until I was about thirteen or fourteen.
Q. That next year after it closed down, did you go to a regular day school?
A. Yeah. But we had to take a bus.
Q. What did you think of that after your experience in Residential School? How different did that feel, going to a day school? Did you like it better? Or was it worse? What did you think of it?
A. I don’t think it was any worse. I think it was just different because we had to go on the bus and we had to try to make new friends.
I’m a shy person so I usually kept to myself.
Q. What about your healing journey? Can you tell us a little bit about how things are for you now?
First of all, I should ask: Do you feel that your experience at Residential School has affected your whole life?
A. Yes. Because we were not allowed to show affection, it’s hard for me to say “I love you” to my children. That’s why I took counselling. It’s something that I have to think about daily, and to show them, not just to say it. Like I show them, but I don’t say it. They want me to show them. With my grandchildren it’s easier.
When I went to counselling —
I was ten when I left Residential School to go into foster care. I asked the counsellor why is it hard for me to do that? She asked: “How old were you when you left?” I said, “Ten.” She said, “That’s the age you left Residential School to go to foster care and that’s why it affects you.”
It’s something that stayed with you but I never thought about the age. I told her that I’m trying to show my children that I love them and that I care for them. But like I said, with grandchildren, or from a baby to ten, that’s when I could give them hugs and kisses. But after that I couldn’t. That’s when I found out why. That helped me in counselling because that was part of my life. It’s still part of my life.
I tell my children, I have a daughter and 3 sons, I tell them about Residential School and things I went through. They said, “We never knew how it affected you.” And I said, “It changes your life, but it was something I don’t regret going because I listened to my mom and I always kept in close contact with my mom.” I learned about her story. So when I went to Lost Generations, a Residential School Support Group, they had that for 5 years. That really helped me because I got to hear other stories and I got to know how we could support each other.
There were people from Waswanipi, in Quebec. My niece and I went up there about 4 years ago. They had a conference. It was thirty years before they had a conference. We were glad we could go to share our stories, how we’re healing.
I still go to a women’s circle in Brantford. I go to Jan’s group, and she teaches different things, how we can support each other.
Q. How old are your children now?
A. My daughter is twenty-nine, my son is twenty-eight, my other son is twenty-seven, and the last one is fifteen.
Q. Was it easy for you to talk to them about Residential School, or did it take quite a few years before you were able to?
A. Well, when my daughter went to college and university she learned more about it. But she said that she couldn’t understand what I went through until she heard it from an elderly woman and what she had to go through. She says that now she understands why I am the way I am. Once she started asking questions, that’s when I got into it more. I didn’t want to pressure them or tell them this is the way things are because I didn’t want them to think negatively. Because there were good points. We did make friends.
The ones in Residential School are your family, so whenever you see anybody, they are still your family, and that’s the way I feel even to this day.
Q. I know the school is still standing. What’s it like for you when you see the school now?
A. Oh, I still go there. I go there for the library to get information. I’m doing a family tree because I didn’t really know my family. I go there and get information because they have things from the Census and stuff like that.
A lot of people, if you talk to them, who went to Residential School, a lot of them haven’t even gone back to their name. They had a different name when they went to Residential School. When they left, they changed their name because that’s how it affected them. You didn’t go by names. You went by numbers. You were a number.
Q. Do you remember your number?
A. My number was sixty-six. Like I said, with our locker you had your number on there, and on your clothes and shoes; the two outfits.
Q. What about other meals there like lunch and supper? Did you feel you had enough food when you were there?
A. Yes. But you never ever saw any overweight children because they got you to run around and do things. Some people planted, other people did dishes. An institution has all kinds of dishes that you have to wash and then you spray them with disinfectant. You had to clean everything. They had big machines for laundry. Other ladies went to the Sewing Room. There were all kinds of chores, but it was things they taught you to be, like a housewife or a sewer, to do laundry, to be a farmer. So I think they taught us things like that.
But for little children if you’re not shown love or anything, you don’t know how to express that because you were told that’s bad —
You were not even supposed to hug your brother or sister!
Q. That affected how you were able to mother your children?
A. Yes.
Q. Before we talk about your healing journey, are there any final things you would like to share?
A. I would like to say thank you for this experience here, because it helps me. And I’m glad that I can help other people. I’m always learning.
Q. What about your healing? How has that been for you?
A. My healing? I do journaling for myself, like I said, with my women’s circle, we make crafts such as moccasins, dream catchers, and sometimes we quilt and things like that.
Q. Does it help you to learn about traditions that were lost?
A. Yes. Because when I go to the Reserve there are a lot of things that I never experienced, so I’m just learning them for the first time. So that helps me, and whatever I learn I pass on.
Q. That’s good. Any final words?
A. I’m just glad that I’m here.
Q. Good. Thank you very much for coming today. You did a great job.
A. Thank you.
Q. These things really do help and make a difference, every single person who has the courage, like yourself, to come forward and share their stories, makes a difference for generations to come. People will finally know what happened, because nobody knows it. There are too many people out there who have no idea, so every single one is so important. Thank you for coming.
A. Okay.
Q. Now I can give you your tobacco. You keep that. That’s for you.
A. Thanks.
— End of Interview
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