{"id":3939,"date":"2020-07-13T14:24:50","date_gmt":"2020-07-13T18:24:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/legacyofhope.ca\/?page_id=3939"},"modified":"2020-07-13T14:25:49","modified_gmt":"2020-07-13T18:25:49","slug":"margaret-ward","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/legacyofhope.ca\/fr\/escapingrs\/margaret-ward\/","title":{"rendered":"Margaret Ward"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"fusion-fullwidth fullwidth-box fusion-builder-row-1 fusion-flex-container fusion-parallax-fixed nonhundred-percent-fullwidth hundred-percent-height hundred-percent-height-center-content non-hundred-percent-height-scrolling lazyload\" style=\"--awb-background-blend-mode:overlay;--awb-border-radius-top-left:0px;--awb-border-radius-top-right:0px;--awb-border-radius-bottom-right:0px;--awb-border-radius-bottom-left:0px;--awb-padding-left:0px;--awb-background-color:rgba(132,132,132,0);--awb-background-size:cover;--awb-flex-wrap:wrap;background-attachment:fixed;\" data-bg=\"http:\/\/legacyofhope.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/forestbg.png\" ><div class=\"fusion-builder-row fusion-row fusion-flex-align-items-flex-start fusion-flex-align-content-center fusion-flex-content-wrap\" style=\"max-width:calc( 1170px + 0px );margin-left: calc(-0px \/ 2 );margin-right: calc(-0px \/ 2 );\"><div class=\"fusion-layout-column fusion_builder_column fusion-builder-column-0 fusion_builder_column_1_1 1_1 fusion-flex-column\" style=\"--awb-padding-top:14px;--awb-padding-bottom:21px;--awb-bg-color:rgba(1,70,82,0.88);--awb-bg-color-hover:rgba(1,70,82,0.88);--awb-bg-size:cover;--awb-width-large:100%;--awb-margin-top-large:0px;--awb-spacing-right-large:0px;--awb-margin-bottom-large:0px;--awb-spacing-left-large:0px;--awb-width-medium:100%;--awb-spacing-right-medium:0px;--awb-spacing-left-medium:0px;--awb-width-small:100%;--awb-spacing-right-small:0px;--awb-spacing-left-small:0px;\"><div class=\"fusion-column-wrapper fusion-column-has-shadow fusion-flex-justify-content-flex-start fusion-content-layout-column\"><div class=\"fusion-title title fusion-title-1 fusion-sep-none fusion-title-text fusion-title-size-one\" style=\"--awb-margin-top-small:0px;--awb-margin-right-small:0px;--awb-margin-bottom-small:20px;--awb-margin-left-small:0px;\"><h1 class=\"fusion-title-heading title-heading-left fusion-responsive-typography-calculated\" style=\"margin:0;--fontSize:48;line-height:1.1;\"><h1 style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"color: #ffffff;\"><strong>Margaret Ward<\/strong><\/span><\/h1><\/h1><\/div><div class=\"fusion-video fusion-selfhosted-video\" style=\"max-width:100%;\"><div class=\"video-wrapper\"><video playsinline=\"true\" width=\"100%\" style=\"object-fit: cover;\" autoplay=\"true\" loop=\"true\" preload=\"auto\" controls=\"1\"><source src=\"http:\/\/legacyofhope.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/Escaping-RS-Margaret.mp4\" type=\"video\/mp4\">Sorry, your browser doesn&#039;t support embedded videos.<\/video><\/div><\/div><a class=\"fusion-modal-text-link button\" data-toggle=\"modal\" data-target=\".fusion-modal.margaret\" href=\"#\">\n<p><center>Read Testimony<\/center><\/a><div class=\"fusion-modal modal fade modal-1 margaret has-light-close\" tabindex=\"-1\" role=\"dialog\" aria-labelledby=\"modal-heading-1\" aria-hidden=\"true\" style=\"--awb-border-color:#ebebeb;--awb-background:#014652;\"><div class=\"modal-dialog modal-lg\" role=\"document\"><div class=\"modal-content fusion-modal-content\"><div class=\"modal-header\"><button class=\"close\" type=\"button\" data-dismiss=\"modal\" aria-hidden=\"true\" aria-label=\"Close\">&times;<\/button><h3 class=\"modal-title\" id=\"modal-heading-1\" data-dismiss=\"modal\" aria-hidden=\"true\"><\/h3><\/div><div class=\"modal-body fusion-clearfix\">\n<h2><span style=\"color: #ffffff;\">Margaret Ward<\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"color: #ffffff;\">My name is Margaret Ward. I\u2019m from Mi&#8217;kmaq Nation. Basically its everybody\u2019s story that was in the Residential School\u2026 like, I want to mention my Mother, and you know, and the other students, and myself, I was there too. I think its important because people, like other people from outside communities\u2026 even some families\u2026 they don\u2019t know. It\u2019s for people who don\u2019t know what happened in these schools\u2026 and I have an example, that the school that I attended was in Nova Scotia and it was called Shubie [Shubenacadie Indian Residential School] and just a road, just like a road down the hill to get to the highway, there were people living there too\u2026 and when this issue started coming out in 1994, some people had told us, that those people \u2013 and I forget their last names, but they were sort of like the care-takers, coming up to the school \u2013 they were non-natives, going up to the school, and they would clean, and you know do their job and they\u2019re gone home again\u2026 so when they heard about what was going on in that school, they were appalled\u2026 like, they said \u2018That school has been there for like, thirty-forty years, and we never knew anything&#8230;\u2019 Like for people that close by, to the school, we were just up the hill, and they weren\u2019t aware of anything that went on there so, if they didn\u2019t know\u2026 how many people across Canada don\u2019t know either? And, I just hope that we can get that message out to everyone and make sure it doesn\u2019t happen again.<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #ffffff;\">A little bit of everything I guess\u2026 It\u2019s survival, you know there\u2019s still\u2026 we\u2019re still here, I\u2019m still here, other people have passed on\u2026 and\u2026 its not necessarily death, but I sort of death is in there too. The schools from what I have read in other books, or hear from other Survivors, that were, you know, we all shared stories\u2026 missing children, yes\u2026 that\u2019s fairly out there now\u2026 and unmarked burials, and that\u2019s for sure out west its bad in that area I guess, there\u2019s about 10,000 kids that were missing and there was no burials \u2013 I mean there was no marked burials. <\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #ffffff;\">What year does this take story place?<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #ffffff;\">This story that I\u2019m recording\u2026 it was, my Mother went there in 1935 and she stayed there for the whole 16-17 years\u2026 and, I was there in 1963 and 64.\u2019 The Residential School is in, it\u2019s called Shubenacadie Residential School and, its located in Nova Scotia. Yea, when you tell your story, you have to sort of, think about\u2026 maybe what other students did to you, and what happened to you, what causes you to be sometimes scared, fearful, because of what happened. It involves some students but I\u2019m not comfortable in maybe saying their names\u2026 and yes, there was one student that was involved in my\u2026 towards me, with abuse, mostly, bullying, she was really nasty\u2026 and I don\u2019t know if she did that to other students but she was known as a bully\u2026 and I was ten years old &#8211; eleven years old &#8211; and every time we went out for, like a recess, or if we went to, playing, you know, outside\u2026 she would come over to me and she would say, \u2018Oh my god, you\u2019re so ugly. Why are you so ugly?\u2019 and at eleven years old I had never been asked that question. I didn\u2019t know what to say because I was scared, I was really scared and she make me nervous\u2026 and she pulled my ears she would pull my hair, pinch my cheeks like really hard, eh? It just brought a lot of fear with everybody else after. When I went to another school I was always scared that there\u2019s going to be another one like that. She was really\u2026 not a very good person, you know? I didn\u2019t know anything about, anything like that, because I was in a very protective environment at home so when I went to this school and then came across this certain student \u2013 a girl \u2013 I sort of just\u2026 I still think about it. I still dream about her and even though she passed on, it\u2019s sort of still there. Some of the students were involved and they would\u2026 some of them would tell her \u2018No\u2019, you know, \u2018Don\u2019t say that\u2019 Don\u2019t do that,\u2019 and there were some nice girls there, like you know, I got along with them, and she got along with me, and there were other students who were similar to her \u2013 the ones whose abusive \u2013 but not as bad as this one was, like, you know\u2026 and I never want to mention her name for fear, you know, even though she\u2019s passed on, her family and\u2026 its sort of left an imprint in there somewhere, yea.<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #ffffff;\">Yes, I attended a Residential School the Shubenacadie Residential School and I was there for 1963 and 64. And then I was sent home. Yes, I only attended the one Residential School the ones that I speak of is Shubenacadie. I\u2019m hear to share about when my Mom was there, the stories that I have heard from her, and myself when I was there and the stories that I heard from other kids, like students that were there\u2026 and that\u2019s what I am here for. Because I feel, even still today, that we\u2019ve been talking about Residential Schools since\u2026 one lady took it upon herself to open up the whole issue of Residential School in 1993 and 1994. And I feel that we should, people should have more knowledge, more awareness\u2026 and encourage other Survivors to be able to tell their stories. <\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #ffffff;\">So, anyways, I know my \u2013 well I didn\u2019t know then, because I wasn\u2019t even here \u2013 my Mom was a Residential School Survivor and her two sisters and they all stayed there the whole ten, eleven, twelve years, because their Mother died when my Mom was about three years old. And she always told me the story about that and her husband, her father, sorry, was not, he couldn\u2019t handle three little girls and so there was a lady in P.E.I. that sort of brought them up until she was about age four and then they couldn\u2019t \u2013 she couldn\u2019t do it anymore. So they decided, the Agent must have decided, that it was time for the girls to go the Residential School\u2026 and she was only about five, I think, when she went\u2026 and she told me that she didn\u2019t, one of her sisters was not old enough, so anyways, they, I think, she was about six or seven when they all connected, the three girls, but they didn\u2019t even know each other, you know\u2026 and she said that she didn\u2019t mind the school, it just, when it came to learning she had a hard time with spelling or math and all the other stuff just that they took and the nuns were very angry with her\u2026 when she would fail the test. She said every time I got my test back, it was a big huge \u2018X\u2019 on my paper, and she said I just felt so bad because I thought I was doing good, but apparently I wasn\u2019t\u2026 and then to punish her, they would send her down to the barn \u2013 there\u2019s a barn, about, not even a mile from the Residential School \u2013 there was a barn there, they kept cows in there, chickens and I don\u2019t know horses. But her job was to clean the cows and she had to do a perfect job and get a brush and brush them off and wash their, you know, the breast areas, and I don\u2019t know what you call it or what else you call it, but anyways, that was her job&#8230; To clean the barn as a punishment and she spent, she did that for so long\u2026 that she sort of got comfortable in there. She didn\u2019t want to go up the hill to go to, you know, class, so they didn\u2019t care, you know if she was there or not. And she said I just felt comfortable being with the cows and she had a name for all of them and she kept them clean and she kept the floors swept and all that others tuff and sort of think today that she just, it was her escape, from what she knew\u2026 what she knew what was going on at the school. <\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #ffffff;\">So anyways, she left the school in\u2026 she was seventeen \u2013 I say seventeen, I\u2019m not sure if she was eighteen? \u2013 but anyways she left the school, she went to another reserve where her sisters were and at that time, the people, in Indian ground anyway and (???) I think, especially the New Brunswick reserves they all went up to Maine to pick blueberries and that\u2019s where she met my Father. She didn\u2019t know no English, she spoke Indian when she started\u2026 like when she was three or four, she was picking up her Mi&#8217;kmaq language and then she completely, when she came out of the school, she didn\u2019t know any Mi&#8217;kmaq at all. So anyways she happens to meet my Dad in Maine\u2026 and my father, he couldn\u2019t speak English. He only spoke Mi&#8217;kmaq\u2026 and so anyways they became friends and he taught her, and she taught him some English words\u2026 and that\u2019s how she sort of gained her language back, through my father. So anyways, as years went by, I was born in 1951 and I was a twin, but she died at an early age and so I went Indian day school when I was six and seven\u2026 eight\u2026 nine\u2026 and I think ten. They sent me to town school and she took me there to town\u2026 and that was another drama to me, it was\u2026 I never seen so many kids, like the school in Marashee was about three or four hundred kids there and it was really hard on me. <\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #ffffff;\">So anyway when I turned eleven they decided to go back to Maine to pick berries and this time they were going to take all of us there\u2026 was me and I think there was about six or seven siblings by then, by the time I was eleven, and they decided to go back to Maine pick berries and then when they got done picking berries a friend of theirs told them, well lets go picking potatoes the potato fields and work for a farmer and I was there for six weeks I believe according to my calculation and then my Mom decided she as going to bring us back, I think there was six of us then and it was too hard to try to manage whatever little money they made over there and so they brought us back home and she told me you can go back to school here in Harkins and she didn\u2019t know there was a process when you go back, even when its late, it was about four weeks into September so anyways I went back to school that one time and I went in and I looked for my classmates and the teacher that I thought supposed to tell me where I\u2019m supposed to go for grade five \u2013 no grade six \u2013 and she said you got to go to the Principal and tell them you\u2019re back because right now there\u2019s no room. So anyways I went down to the Principal and he said the same thing, \u2018There\u2019s no room for you here now, I don\u2019t know what we can do.\u2019 So I just left and went back home and told my Mom what they were saying and she said \u2018Well, I\u2019ll have to make a few phone calls\u2026\u2019 So she went to see the Chief and see if I could go to some sort of classes or something, but back then, in 1956 or 57, there was not too much of any other things for the kids. <\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #ffffff;\">So anyways one day she came home and she said \u2018Margaret I got you a new dress and a new sweater\u2019 and I think it was shoes, and she says \u2018You\u2019re gonna go to school\u2019 and I said \u2018Oh wow, that\u2019s cool\u2019 you know. I was happy but she said \u2018Somebody\u2019s gonna pick you up\u2019 I said \u2018oh\u2026\u2019 so being ten years old, eleven, you don\u2019t think of, the future, like what\u2019s going to happen. So anyway, I was looking out the window upstairs in my room, they were watching for a blue car to come down and pick me up and when I went to when the car came it was an Indian agent and I didn\u2019t know who he was you know I wasn\u2019t aware of all that stuff there, eh? And I got into the car and there was three other kids that were in the same situation I think, so there was three of them and so we drove and I don\u2019t even remember getting on the train I just\u2026 you know, middle of the day still and so I didn\u2019t think about anything and I got on the train with them and I remember sitting with them and even it was a long train ride \u2013 of course it takes about seven hours, I know that now \u2013 and anyways we got off the train, we got on another car, and we drove up to this school and\u2026 when I seen the school I didn\u2019t know\u2026 it was like, it was almost about ten, eleven o\u2019clock at night, it was dark! and I told my friend, \u2018its too dark we cant go to school\u2019 and she said, \u2018Well we have to go in, you gotta go in\u2019 so anyway they drove right up to the school, right to the front there and all I could see the huge doors and I think there\u2019s about three nuns standing there and I think it was a priest because I could see the cross and I never ever seen a nun, ever before, like to me they were like spooky and I just kept staring\u2026 I told my friend, \u2018Who are these people?\u2019 you know, why are they here, you know, and she \u2018No, no\u2026 never mind just come on, you got to go with us and follow us in\u2019 so I remember going up the steps and I was really scared and not knowing, you know, ahead and went into the building and I didn\u2019t understand what they were saying. Anyways, so we went in the school and the nuns were walking around and like I said they were they just seemed like \u2013 now a days it would, I don\u2019t know, some costumes or something \u2013 I never seen them before and she offered us a lunch and I think it was just crackers and hot chocolate and I remember almost puking when I drank the hot chocolate because I don\u2019t know what was in there but it was not&#8230; it was not\u2026 it almost made me sick just to almost, and I swallowed it anyways because I was scared of the nuns \u2013 I didn\u2019t want to do anything, right first time, anything unusual. Anyways, so they sent us to go to bed now, they took us up I don\u2019t know how many flights of stairs there was, four or five flights I think, I remember walking ingot the dormitory and I seen a whole pink and blue beds ironed, you know like ironed beds and I just I didn\u2019t know&#8230; I couldn\u2019t figure out why&#8230; am I here am I going to bed here? Like you know. <\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #ffffff;\">So after a while the friend that I was asking all these questions from the time we got there she sort of stayed away from me for a while because I was too, I don\u2019t know if I was too scared, and I was leaning on her to give me answers and I think we got up in the morning, we went to church, then we went down to the cafeteria and had breakfast and\u2026 went to\u2026 that first day, yea right away, I had to &#8211; that sister one of the sisters came and she said \u2018Margaret you have a job\u2026\u2019 a job? She said, \u2018Yea you\u2019re gonna do the stairs\u2019 and I didn\u2019t know what to do, like I never did anything like that you know? So anyways she just gave me like two flights for the first couple of days and I didn\u2019t know like what do you do? So I started just started to mop, you know and went back into the rec room where the recreation room where the other girls were and from there, that day, we went to class again, and then I started looking for my friend and I found her and said when are we going home? We\u2019ve been here long enough\u2019 and she said, \u2018oh I\u2019m going to go ask\u2019 but she never, she was just telling me. I know that today, you know, she didn\u2019t, it was too hard on her for me to ask so many questions also, and she stayed away from me and I didn\u2019t realize that it was Shubie that my Mom had talked about to my father I used to hear them talking in the kitchen when I was doing my homework and she would tell my father what they did to her and how the slapped her around and you know, called her names, \u2018You\u2019re never going home again\u2026\u2019 and stuff like that and I\u2019m thinking, oh my\u2026 I\u2019m sitting there at the table just picking this up here and there, eh? So when I was in school, the class, the nun she said \u2018You guys are going to write a letter to&#8230;\u2019 and I\u2019m in day 5 \u2026 she says, \u2018You gonna write a letter home.\u2019 And I was all happy about that. She said you have to spell Shubenacadie Residential School and as I was spelling it, as I was spelling it\u2026 that\u2019s when I realized, when she kept saying, \u2018Spell Shubenacadie\u2026 spell Shubenacadie\u2026\u2019 and I was spelling it\u2026 and that\u2019s when I realized I was in Shubie\u2026 and, I been thinking about it, and thinking about I not wanting to say anything and\u2026 I started thinking, I think at night, and I\u2019m thinking, you know thinking, \u2018This is Shubie\u2026 This what they were talking about. Why would she send me here when she said it was so bad? Am I going to get the same punishment?\u2019 <\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #ffffff;\">And so, I just put it in the back&#8230; in my back of my mind\u2026 as a kid you just go with the flow after a while, eh? And it was \u2026 an eye opener I know that&#8230; but I didn\u2019t realize all that stuff going on as part of, that each day, I didn\u2019t realize it was abuse then. Because I had never been abused like that before and there was other little girls that I seen there \u2013 they must have been in grade two or one \u2013 and somebody came running down from the dormitory and said one of the girls they peed the bed, and they were making noise, and they were jumping on the beds and the nun had to come down. So anyways, I seen them, and I knew one of them was from my reserve, and I said oh my god what\u2019s going to happen\u2026 but anyways, its in the recreation room, and the showers, yea the showers lead to on one side and the nun opened the door and they all went in there\u2026 there was about six of them I think, six little girls, like they couldn\u2019t of been no more\u2026 than five? Anyways I heard the straps, I heard the strapping, I heard her yelling at them and it just&#8230; I couldn\u2019t&#8230; I kept\u2026 I talked to one of the girls that was there\u2026 and she said, \u2018No. She\u2019s not strapping them&#8230;\u2019 so this day I still don\u2019t know if they got strapped or not, on the butt, that\u2019s what they were telling me&#8230; but the girl told me yep they got strapped but it was so loud\u2026 you\u2019re just standing there listening and you\u2019re in the rec room and you can hear everything that\u2019s going on in the shower there\u2019s sinks in there and everything and I said oh my god I\u2019m never going to do anything, you know, as a child, I don\u2019t know, you sort of try to find a place where you can hide.. yea&#8230; so you wouldn\u2019t have to be blamed for anything&#8230; it was 62\u2019 to 64\u2019 and the reason why, was because 63\u2019 was in August, that was the blueberry picking time, and the September was the potato picking time until October. So when I went there\u2026 yea, I went there 63\u2019 that fall and I came out 64\u2019 in June. It was\u2026 the girls were fighting amongst themselves a lot\u2026 the older girls, they would scream and fight, and they had these shelves whatever there were &#8211; there were shelves on top where the games were, you know, just puzzles and whatever right? \u2013 anyway, but in, the side of the shelf, and in against the wall (there was about that much room left in there) and I would go hiding in there until it was quiet. That\u2019s how I knew that was my spot. I knew, just like Mom, she wanted to get away from all that in there and even though she didn\u2019t get no education, they didn\u2019t care\u2026 but at least I did pass my grade five, that year there\u2026 but it was with, you know\u2026 <\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #ffffff;\">The memories didn\u2019t start coming out until after I started coming out to meetings and stuff. You sort of try to put it away somewhere in your mind and you just go on with your life and then when Nora started the conversation thing, suing the government\u2026 my Mom was with &#8211; my Mom and my Aunt joined her -and there was about 900 hundred Survivors there that came out, yea. So when you start talking about those things, it was unreal. For me it was unreal I couldn\u2019t stop crying. I couldn\u2019t stop crying\u2026 every movie they showed it was, you know, every student or every person that had to tell their story, I could relate it and I could see it\u2026 and there I go again, like you know, I said whenever am I ever going to get through this&#8230; but you don\u2019t think about that, like I said, you go with the flow\u2026 and sometimes you dread going to those meetings, you dread to hear those stories, you dread to see those movies they had\u2026 but for Mom and Sarah I had to go, you know, and I\u2019m glad I did today. At least today I can sit here and I can talk &#8211; sometimes it still touches me inside, but you get to, you know, move on. I don\u2019t really know if anything was done. I know one kid broke her leg and I know they took her to the hospital and took her back but she was\u2026 she was on the couch for the whole time. Like she couldn\u2019t walk, I think she broke her femur or something, and that\u2019s all she was, she was on the couch the whole time and sometimes she would ask me \u2018Margaret can you come, can you go and get me some water?\u2019 you know, or \u2018Get me a crayon\u2026\u2019 she was only a young girl &#8211; way younger than me then &#8211; and I don\u2019t believe anything was done, you know, for\u2026 <\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #ffffff;\">I often heard about, when we used to go for walks. No matter how cold it was, we went\u2026 and I would walk with one of these girls there and she would point out different spots. She said \u2018You see that lake there?\u2019 and I say, \u2018Yea.\u2019 \u2018Well there\u2019s two girls drowned in there\u2026\u2019 and I said, \u2018Are they still in there?\u2019 she said \u2018Yea nobody took them out\u2026\u2019 Oh. I just\u2026 you know you keep picturing in your mind\u2026 Why are they there? Why isn\u2019t nobody doing anything? Even as a kid, and even throughout the years, I still think about that. Yea. Its\u2026 it was never done&#8230; and there as other stories too that I.\u2026 its so gruesome\u2026 its so inhuman\u2026 To me, the story I would say now\u2026 How could anyone do something like that to a baby? I heard there were girl there that had a baby and one of the girls\u2026 and one of the girls said, \u2018I saw it, I saw\u2026\u2019 She would tell her friends too, \u2018I saw it! I know what they did!\u2019 and\u2026 Oh my heart\u2026. Oh I don\u2019t want to do this anymore\u2026 [break]<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #ffffff;\">And you know when I seen that movie, Indian Horse? Exactly it. Oh my god that baby\u2026. no, I think that was it. But I just want to make sure that they, the people that take care of, sort of look over the Survivors, to keep doing it, you know, you never know when there\u2019s somebody out there that may need help even though they say, \u2018No, I\u2019m done\u2026\u2019 you know, there\u2019s so much pain, you know, the kids endured so much pain\u2026 and I did, I did a survey in my community\u2026 about ten years ago now, and my job was to go out and talk to the Survivors and ask them if they wanted to fill a survey of questions. It was on like a book, I wasn\u2019t happy with it anyway, but I went and first you have to get them to sign, and some of the Survivors &#8211; the Elders anyway \u2013 \u2018Nope. Don\u2019t want it here. They don\u2019t need to hear my story, and I\u2019m not sharing\u2026\u2019 and what can you do? You can\u2019t do nothing, you know, \u2018Its okay, I\u2019m just hear to see if we can help some Survivors\u2026\u2019 you know and there\u2019s some that were willing, and some just, you know, no way. <\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #ffffff;\">To the Canadian government you don\u2019t know what you\u2019ve done to my people, to my children, my grandchildren&#8230; they don\u2019t know the stories they hear it from other words, they don\u2019t know the real stories, and I didn\u2019t want to be the one to tell them and last year, when we had these orange shirt day, one of my kids came over and said I didn\u2019t know all that happened. I said oh I didn\u2019t want to tell you babe until you were ready until I felt you were ready, you can take it, but I still don\u2019t tell them the whole thing, I sort of sugar coat it a little, try to, so I blame the government, the Indian Agents, the RCMP\u2026 No matter how often they can apologize, I don\u2019t care about apologies. I just want them to know about what they did so this come out from everywhere across Canada&#8230; <\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #ffffff;\">Like, I don\u2019t know how we are going to go about it. We\u2019ve already done about twenty years of this, and I can\u2019t, that this is still there\u2026 and I thought I was done like you know, I don\u2019t have to deal with that anymore I don\u2019t have to look there anymore\u2026 but like that movie I was telling about, it did, it did bring back some. One part of it anyway, but I&#8230; I just went to the bathroom and stayed there for a while. Marlene said, \u2018Oh, you took a long time&#8230;\u2019 I said, \u2018I know\u2026\u2019 Just brush it off like that, you know\u2026 but the pain, it\u2019s always there. The memory will always be there we can\u2019t erase those so that\u2019s what I say, Canada does not know what they have done and not only Canada \u2013 it\u2019s in Australia and it\u2019s in the States\u2026 and I mean, the first school that started was in Quebec in 1860. Can you imagine what they did? No wonder they call us, \u201cStupid Indians.\u201d We\u2019re no different than they are \u2013 it\u2019s just that we went to hell. <\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #ffffff;\">We went to hell\u2026 and I know my relatives that were there, they went into, they became alcoholics, some of them, some of them became suicidal&#8230; and that\u2019s scary. I kept everything here because I was always scared that my kids might overthink and maybe do something and that\u2019s&#8230; I would just like to, tell the government or Canada or the prime minister, or whatever. I know Prime Minister Harper tried to apologize, I even felt sorry for him because he doesn\u2019t realize what he did. He doesn\u2019t realize what this government did all the way back, gods know when. So how do you fix that? How do you heal that, you know? It\u2019s a sad chapter for Survivors. Some of the Survivors were\u2026 how do I put it\u2026 they were like pets to the nuns, yea\u2026 and those are the ones that can\u2026 they probably seen what was going on there, but they never say anything. I always wondered about that\u2026 and they don\u2019t say anything because they were sort of favoured \u2013 favourites &#8211; and to this day, they don\u2019t say nothing\u2026 and I know some of them&#8230; so yea&#8230; but we all went through the same thing. No matter if its in Quebec, the States, Shubie\u2026 it basically made me\u2026 maybe we weren\u2019t that bad, maybe there was other Residential Schools that were worse&#8230; I\u2019ve heard of some. They need help, we need to be out there, you know, educate the society. Educate the kids so this never happens again\u2026 that\u2019s all I ask. Never let this happen again, never. You know? I was talking to my grandson one day &#8211; because he wanted to know about the t-shirt thing &#8211; and I said well there was bad things that happened with this, you know, but the purpose of these t-shirts is to let everybody know what happened in these schools. I said you\u2019ll hear about it\u2026 but I want you to promise me that you\u2019ll make sure that doesn\u2019t happen again and if you know, you go\u2026 you go and say, \u2018No. No more of that\u2026\u2019 but I don\u2019t want to hold him up to that\u2026 poor soul, such a big duty.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div><div class=\"modal-footer\"><button class=\"fusion-button button-default button-medium button default medium\" type=\"button\" data-dismiss=\"modal\">Close<\/button><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3900,"parent":3242,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"100-width.php","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-3939","page","type-page","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.3 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Margaret Ward - 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